About us & FAQ
WHO CREATED LIFE WISE AND ITS PROGRAMMING?
Our therapists and program creators want to share their expertise because they realize that many people who come to them for therapy really just needed some tools, and skills to improve on their lives and not the deep level emotional work that therapists often do. In collaboration with a team of other highly skilled therapists — some with over 30 years of experience — and feed back from private practice clients in the state of Hawaii. The Life Wise company and the Save My Marriage Program was created. All programs are approved by a Life Wise panel for quality control and use of evidence-based approaches.
In his 2008 book "Outliers," Malcolm Gladwell wrote that "ten thousand hours is the magic number of greatness." Based on studies in elite performance, Gladwell contended that it's "an extraordinarily consistent answer in an incredible number of fields ... you need to have practiced, to have apprenticed, for 10,000 hours before you get good."
With that philosophy in mind, we're proud to say that the Life Wise team has over 160,000 hours of experience and counting. This is a key reason for Life Wise expertise and why Life Wise programs are the authority in creating lasting positive changes in peoples lives.
WHAT DOES THE LIFE WISE MARRIAGE PROGRAM INCLUDE AND WHY DOES IT COST SO MUCH?
The value of this programming, materials, and time with a professional, is greater than its cost. Consider the cost of therapy for a trained professional with over a decade of experience who specializes in your issues. You get that level of know how and information with every Life Wise intervention manual on any subject. Also, know that therapy is usually only one time a week with an average couple. Even “small” issues in relationships, once you're in therapy will need at least 12 sessions to be resolved to as much as 48 sessions or more for relationships with big issues, according to research. That is a minimum of three (3) months of waiting and trying to improve things for as long as year or more! This program is for those who don’t want to or can't wait that long. Life Wise will save you long-term costs such as your time, emotional stress, possible divorce, and if you have kids, benefit you and them by keeping the unnecessary drama in your life and or marriage out of the house.
Life Wise uses quality level research methods and techniques. You cannot find a lot of this information online unless you have access to university level research databases, have membership to relevant publications, or are a trained professional in this area. You may find similar information online but keep in mind an estimate of about three or more hours of searching for the information contained in just chapter in any program on Life Wise video/audio or podcast. Our marriage program is 10 chapters long meaning it would take about 30 hours of your time to discover all the information at a minimum, and if you knew what to look for. In addition Life Wise also has arranged the information in a custom format using learning-based methods to enhance your learning. With us you don’t have to search, struggle and piece together information on how to do better on issues we teach about such as how to; developing better relationships, create higher self-esteem, lower your stress, lessen anxiety, increase your sex life, creating more happiness, how to develop a healthier family and a more peace-filled home. What is all this worth in addition to your time?
THE POWER OF THE LIFE WISE PROGRAM
Life Wise provides self-improvement programming for those wanting to work on themselves and a very special marriage program called ‘LifeWise: Save My Marriage’. All programming uses the 7 learning styles (Visual, Auditory, verbal, physical, Logical, social, and solitary study) needed in a comprehensive and successful program. By recognizing and understanding your own learning styles, you can use techniques better suited to you. This improves the speed and quality of your learning and the lasting impact of your changes. It also makes the program more fun and interactive. Learning from a licensed or certified professional who sees and talks to people like you and has a proven track record of success in helping people like you will give you and or your relationship the best chance at success! Life Wise also uses seven key principle strategies for creating change among our clients. These strategies are;
1. Acceptance Of Who You Are & Where You Are At
Before you can start improving on yourself or your marriage you need to know that who you are and whatever skills you have or do not have are just a product of what you have experienced in life up to this point in time. Its helpful to recognize that life can be hard and your Life Wise professionals know that. Life Wise staff believe that everyone is fundamentally good inside no matter what your behaviors have been in the past. You are a good person, and if you are willing to grow as a person and or as a person in a relationship then Life Wise will help you do that. Life Wise professionals do not judge you because of this understanding about life, and they accept who you are and what your life experiences have been. We respect who you are for what you want to accomplish and we are honored to help you turn your dreams into reality.
2. Use of Behavior Modification Methods
Life Wise will address and help you to modify any unhelpful behavior(s) so that that you and or your spouse can change the way you behave. These are not methods or techniques to change your spouse! They are ways for you to change your own behavior. The goal here is to spot your part of unhelpful patterns and identify unhelpful behaviors that get in the way of your happiness. Once you do that, the next step is to replace the old unhelpful behavior with a new alternative behavior that helps you and or your marriage. We refer to this as "creating the new normal." It's not enough to just stop engaging in any type of behavior that causes harm, whether the harm is physical, emotional, or financial. If you do not add in an alternative behavior, you will, in time, relapse or default to your old behavior because it's what you know and have experience with.
3. Use Of Emotional Reintegration Skills
A big part of why we struggle and suffer in life comes from downplaying the importance of our feelings, wishes, and dreams. When marriages struggle, it's in part due to an emotional distancing between partners. Emotions are foundational to who we are, or you wouldn’t have been born with them. When you stop being emotionally open with others, you suffer and so do all your relationships romantic ones or not. Emotionally reintegrating involves first being honest with yourself and your feelings. Second, it requires you to reconnect with others emotionally. To do this Life Wise works to help you figure out how you engage with others and create new types of interactions, while solidifying the bonding process between your relationships. Emotionally reintegrating and reconnecting with yourself will keep you from growing apart with others and stop your fears of being rejected from coming true, in a healthy, non-anxious ways.
4. Use of Cognitive Change Methods
If you are single, it's important to reframe how you see yourself and your place in the world so you can see your strengths and look beyond the knee-jerk reactions you have into a brighter future so you don’t take things so personally and keep moving forward. If you are in a marriage, this use of cognitive methods will help you see more clearly what marriage is and what your role is supposed to be as a married person. Sometimes learning how to focus on the positives, learning what is normal in life and in a marriage, can change the way you think, and help you see things in a more positive light. Life Wise will also address and help you to modify any unhelpful thought(s) so that that you and or your spouse can change unhelpful patterns of thinking and talking that get in the way of your happiness.
5. Use of Communication Coaching
The number one issue people ask for help with is communication. Good communication skills are essential as it results in better connections with others, and may lead to raises, promotions, and less life drama over all. For many couples, just learning how to communicate feelings, resolve conflicts, is a huge chore. Good communication will deepen your understanding and appreciation of others and what they are sharing with you. Marriage interventions must include communication training to help each person express their true feelings and reach mutually agreed on solutions without the fear of rejection or conflict. If you or your spouse uses criticism, abusive language, get defensive, place blame or you stop talking to one another for days on end, your relationship is failing. To solve this Life Wise has created F.I.R.S.T. a communication method specifically designed to mimic the same skills that therapist use every day. After all you do not want to have to go to a therapist every time there is an issue in your life with another person. The goal of the model is to teach you how to be your own therapist and create a safe environment in your own life and relationships. Communicating with other in the right way creates a more positive vibe for those around you, and your life will have less drama as a result. The methods you will learn will help improve your listening skills and allow you to be more open and emphatic when someone is trying to communicate with you.
6. Use of a Solution-Focused Approach
Traditional therapy can focus on the past and feelings and while important, and healing, Life Wise goes the extra step, teaching each person to focus on solutions and the future instead of the past and the problems. By focusing on observable actions to create change, you and or your spouse or other persons in your life, will naturally want to change with you not because you convinced, threatened or bribed them to ‘play along’ with you but because they admire and respect you and what you are doing with your life.
7. Use of a Customized Approach
While no program can account for every situation, Life Wise provides you with a trained professional to help you with your specific learning needs in some of our purchasing offers. This is made available for those who want to have a more interactive person to person experience and who may have specific questions or situations that fall outside the norm. By having a professional hear out your story a recommendation as of where to start in the program and what additional materials or knowledge you may need can be recommended or made available to you that may not be fully addressed in the core programming.
LIFE WISE MARRIAGE PROGRAM (IN A NUTSHELL)
Along with everything stated in other sections on this page, did you know a study performed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy found that about 80% percent of therapists who engage in private practice have never had any formal training in marriage counseling methods or marriage therapy! Life Wise marriage intervention program was created by a therapist who specializes in relationship issues, and our other videos by professionals who specialize and have extensive training in the subject matter found in each video or audio segment. That's one very big factor in what makes Life Wise is so different from other self-improvement or marriage programs out on the market today.
Life Wise marriage program will help you repair your relationship and help you focus on the new and awesome things that are going to happen in your future. By focusing on and incorporating all the principles and learning science, you read about above, an exchange of goodwill and positive relationship habits between husband and wife will develop. This will not only save your marriage but also strengthen your marriage.
Relationships can start to go bad for a lot of reasons, including but not limited to stress, lying, cheating, jealousy, constant arguments over money, how to parent, sexual satisfaction, substance abuse, work, infidelity, incompatibility and even just feeling bored in the relationship. Life Wise will help you avoid those issues and others by emotionally reconnecting you and your spouse to one another and by discussing what each partner needs to have in the relationship. We will also help you develop specific rules that are needed in every successful marriage regarding how to have difficult conversations. We will use everything we have to help you create a positive and encouraging ‘tone’ during conversations in your marriage so that what would otherwise become an argument changes into an opportunity for real growth and progress.
Maintaining relationships requires hard work, which is why it is important for you and your partner to relax, unwind and have some fun. If your spouse is willing to do the marriage program with you its possible to do some really fun tasks in the programming with them. Examples would be doing communication exercise, drawing things together, creating artwork with one another, going on road trips and mini-vacations, etc, all to provide you with new experiences and new opportunities for you to work on building good communication, and a better marriage. Following the same week to week life routine will eventually cause a relationship to stagnate and get old, causing the relationship to become boring, that can even lead to feelings of disappointment, anger, and resentment. Doing fun tasks together will allow you and your partner to use new skills, create new memories, new experiences, and develop the relationship that both of you can share and grow into.
BEFORE CONTACTING LIFE WISE FOR INDIVIDUAL OR MARRIAGE HELP, PLEASE:
1. Have at least two clear goals.The goals of marriage can seem obvious to you "I want to have a better marriage, ” but it’s important to consider what that means to you and or your spouse. If you can discuss what your “better” marriage would look like, it might help the two of you arrive a shared vision for what you want out of the program. Then you might share with your life wise professional a more detailed goal such as "we want to work on communication skills, and how to forgive one another for past infidelities".
2. Be ready to focus on yourself and work on yourself.Being inflexible and unwilling to "bend" a little usually results in a lot of psychological pain and suffering and particularly in marriages. Being willing to let go of "being 100% right" and more willing to be "partly right" will go a long way towards improving yourself, and or your relationships.
3. Be prepared to work. Falling in love and getting married can seem so, easy, and natural. Maybe it just happened for your, or maybe it did not but when the honeymoon period ends, that new “shine of relationship bliss” starts to fade out real problems come up. Only if you are willing to work to create a lasting happiness can you create a more long-term sense of satisfaction and happiness in your life or in your marriage. Our programming is something that you will need to put your energy into, or the Life Wise program simply won’t work for you. For married or individual programming the message is simply this if you want the help be prepared to accept the help and that means you agree that you will do the work, fully.
4. Be prepared to give some time to do the work.One of the places that we can often become the most selfish is with our personal time. We may place on any given day more important to do what we want such as going out with friends, playing a video game or watching a sports game on T.V but being in a relationship is like being at another job. You have duties to fulfill, but unlike a real normal job, this is a job you should love going to and love working at. Your time will be taken up while you try to repair your life and or marriage. In fact, our programming does not take up a chunk of your day, you aren’t doing the programming right. Give up some of your time now, so you will have more of what you want in the future.
5. Remember why you want the change in your life.Nothing worth doing is easy. You will take pride and satisfaction in your accomplishments, your life, and or your marriage once you have completed your program.
6. Be willing to admit, you can't think negative and feel good! So, keep it positive while you do the programming.
IS THE LIFE WISE PROGRAM RIGHT FOR ME AND MY SITUATION?
The Life Wise programming is designed to be ratable to anyone ages 13 years and up. The marriage program is our flagship program and can benefit those looking to get married, who are married and want to enrich their marriage or for those who are struggling in marriage and possibly looking at a divorce. Life Wise teaches how to cope and deal with common life and relationship stresses that often result in people going to a therapist when really, they could have just benefited from some information and tools. Life Wise teaches skills, methods, and techniques but also (and more importantly) teaches principles and universal concepts to live, by, and apply to your self and your marriage to help you create the changes you want. These principles apply to all stages of life on a huge range of issues. Odds are good then that if your willing to learn better and do better, the Life Wise program is going to help you succeed.